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「エクソダス２００５《脱米救国》国民運動」というブログを読んでいて吹き出した。
http://exodus.exblog.jp/3865245#3865245_1
You Know You've Been in Japan Too Long When..." というタイトルのおもしろいリストを見つけたのでご紹介しよう．「こうなったらあなたはもう間違いなく日本人」という一口ジョークのコレクションである．たとえば，「あなたが電話をかけながらお辞儀しているとき」，とか「あなたがためらわず１０ドル札を自販機に突っ込むとき」などなど．これを読むと日本人という人種？が（彼らから見ると）かなり奇異な習性を持った集団であることが分かる．しかも，日本に長く居るガイジンは間違いなくそれを見習ってしまうというところがおかしい．
以上のように前置きしてこんなジョークを紹介してくれている。
You Know You've Been in Japan Too Long When...
http://vikingphoenix.com/public/JapanIncorporated/japan-too-long.htm
...you find yourself bowing while you talk on the phone.
...you don't hesitate to put a $10 note into a vending machine.
...you see a gaijin get on the train and think "Wow, it's a gaijin!"
...you don' t think it unusual for a truck to play "It's a Small World" when backing up.
...you really enjoy corn soup with your Big Mac.
...you buy a potato-and-strawberry sandwich for lunch without cringing.
...people stop complementing you on your Japanese, and start asking you where you had your nose and eyes done.
...you are not worried about speeding in the rain, because you know the cops are only out there in good weather.
...you think "English literature major" is a polite way to say peanut-brained bimbo.
...you are not surprised to wake up in the morning and find that the woman you slept with last night has completely cleaned your apartment, even though you'll probably never ever meet her again.
...you develop a liking for green tea flavored ice cream.
...you think the best part of TV is the commercials.
...your mother talks about "you foreigners."
...when you think it' s alright to stick your head into a stranger's apartment to see if anybody's home.
...when you find nothing unusual in a television commercial for candy in which a model dressed in a high school girl's uniform comes up behind another model dressed in a high school girl's uniform, grabs her left breast, gives a devilish grin, and skips away.
...you think nothing about seeing 20 ads for womens' sanitary napkins during one movie.
...you have discovered the sexual attraction of high school navy uniforms.
...you think four layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise.
...a new gaijin moves to your neighborhood and you know immediately you will get his mail for a while.
...when you get on a train with a number of gaijin on it and you feel uneasy because the harmony is broken.
...you ask fellow foreigners the all-important question "How long have you been here?" in order to be able to properly categorize and dismiss them.
...you think NHK is "the Japanese BBC."
...you think curry rice is food.
...when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you are not surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply.
...and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says 'thank you' after you buy a Coke.
...it takes fifteen seconds of deep thought to recall the first name of the President of the United States.
...a non-Japanese sits down next to you on the train and you get up and move. You're not prejudiced, but who knows what they might do?
...when having non-Japanese around you is a source of stress.
...when you think one kind of rice tastes better than another kind.
...you return the bow from the cash machine.
...you can't find the "open" and "close" buttons in the elevator because they're in English.
...but you hate every second of being back in the USA.
You read the whole thing? Arigato!
以上は
Viking Phoenix Web Page: Japan, Incorporated
http://vikingphoenix.com/public/JapanIncorporated/japaninc.htm
から転載。
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